Mom-isms

I came across this on the internet and thought they were great:

Momfinitions
Seems like Mr. Webster left out some pretty important parenting terms. Read, relate and then submit your own in the comments section!

Booty call
[BOO-tee kawl] noun: A shout from the bathroom letting you know it's time to go wipe someone's butt.

Sleevekerchief
[sleev-KUR-cheef] noun: What you use to catch your kid's snot when you're out of tissues.

Diapergami
[dahy-per-GAWM-ee] noun: That secret parenting fold that turns a nasty diaper into a tidy package ready for the trash.

Keything Ring
[kee-THEENG-reeng] noun: What your keychain becomes in a teething pain emergency at the grocery store.

Boobifier
[boob-UH-fahy-er] verb: The act of using one's boob as a pacifier.

Wuce
[woos] noun: The watered-down juice that's left in the bottom of your kid's sippy cup after you've refilled it throughout the day.

Unhappy Hour
[UN-hap-ee-OU-er] noun: The hour between 5 and 6 PM when every mom in America is desperately trying to entertain whiney and hungry children while simultaneously fixing dinner and tidying up the house.

Four Dora Day
[FAWR-dor-uh-dey] noun: One of those days when you ignore all TV limits and let your kids watch four, five or even six episodes of Dora in a row.

Justaraisin
[juhst-uh-REY-zin] expression: What you tell your kids when they catch you sneaking into your secret chocolate stash (e.g., "No, I'm not eating chocolate. It's justaraisin. Want one?")

Peemergency
[pee-MUR-juhn-see] noun: When you've just pulled onto the freeway after loading 10 bags of groceries and three kids into the car and your kid decides to tell you that he has to go potty Right. That. Instant.

Invisaowie
[in-VIS-uh-awhw-ee] noun: An owie that's so small you can't see it—but still requires a bandage to stop the crying.

Snooze Control
[sn-OOZ cun-trol]verb: When you hand your kid the remote and flip to Noggin so you can catch a few more ZZZs.

Toppler
[tawp-LER] noun: A topless toddler, usually caused by an unprepared mommy forgetting to bring along a change of clothes.

Boy-o-sphere
[boi-OH-sfeer] noun: That weird, stuffy, puppy breath kind of smell that permeates a boy's room, especially when they've kept their door closed all day. Is it the laundry? Their shoes? Can't quite place where it's coming from, but you'll know it when you smell it.

Spelling Bee Champ
[spel-EENG bee ch-aa-mp] noun: What you have to be when the kids are old enough to know what you are talking about so you have to start s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g.

I can only do drugs

All too often my children come up with some of *the* strangest things to say or do.

This is one of the latest from Dylan. I was making his favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and he came into the kitchen, pulling himself across the floor. What are you doing? I asked him, "oh, well, I'm just coming into the kitchen. All I can do is drugs." Now, I think for a minute that I misunderstood what he said so I asked again. "All I can do is drugs" he replied again. "Do you know what drugs are?" I asked him. "yah, sure I do. It's when you have an allergy in your back and you can't walk". "An Allergy in your back and you can't walk? What does that mean" I questioned. "It means that my back is twisted out, you know, sticking out funny and I can't walk?, so I'm doing drugs to get in the kitchen"

Human Eggs!

Today was a rare day that I was actually able to accomplish a lot of what I set out to do. Dylan - my energetic little man that he is, actually let me sit down and work for about 4 hours straight without too many interruptions. This was wonderful! So, I decided to take a little extra time to make egg burritos for lunch today. As I was cracking the eggs into the bowl, Dylan looked at me and said, "You know mommy, those aren't really chicken eggs." To this I smiled and then replied, "oh no? What do you think they are Dylan?" "They are human eggs mommy, see the middle is yellow. There isn't a cute little chick in there, so they have to be human eggs." I immediately started giggling. So I asked him what he would do if they were really chicken eggs, and he told me that he wouldn't eat them if they were chicken eggs, because baby chicks are too cute and cannot be eaten!

It is so funny and touching to hear what children are really thinking about everyday things that we take for granted.